oh, to be thin<3

didn't purge all weekend, my throat is seriously fucked up... i can't swallow without it feeling like my throat/chest is being sat on by a like 25 lb weight.  also i cough a lot now... i'm definitely sure it's because of all the throwing up i've been doing, especially really heavily recently.  i have no gag reflex anymore so i have to like sort of choke myself (because i have to flex/strain my esophogus and stomach muscles so hard) to get any food up. 
any way so now i'm really, really really bloated and disgusting again.  like at 150 right now... i haven't been this high since before last summer.  ew.  so that means i'm eating as little as possible this week, i'm going to have to buy a lot more adderall to help with the appetite... ugh i don't have money for it though
i guess i could just start on that bottle of random meds i found in my room.  there are probably 40 pills in there, all different kinds, a few of them i can identify but the rest i can't remember where i got them.  i do know they're from about a year ago when i was really heavily into drugs and was buying/taking/stocking up on whatever i could get.
good luck to me this week~~

All I've had to eat today was a 16 oz diet mt dew and a 8oz diet coke.  And I'm not even hungry!  I was going to start the 2468 diet but if this works well enough and i can keep this up, then I'll just stick with fasting- or as close to it- as I can get.  All I'll eat, that is if I DO eat, will be fruit. 
Also today at lunch I learned there are like 400 calories in just half a cup of almonds.  I've been just getting a salad at lunch with romaine lettuce, cucumbers and a ton of almonds and like a tbsp of low-cal italian dressing for the past like month or two.  And then I out of curiousity asked how many calories were in nuts, so I could figure out how many I was eating daily, and my friend was like, they're hella bad for you calorie-wise... so that was kinda disgusting.  I just won't get a salad anymore then, because it'd be way too boring to just eat lettuce and cucumber.  Plus that's ten dollars saved every week :P  Though for me, I'm not usually as worried about the calorie count as I am the size of the food.  Like I would eat a handful of gummi worms or something but I'd turn down pile of plain mashed potatoes, because in the end I'd have a bigger stomach bulge from the potatoes which are probably actually better for me anyways... whatever.  Ever since going vegan though I've craved sweets way, way less.  Though I didn't switch to vegan because of weight issues!  It's just an added bonus to saving animals :D heehee.
ANYWAY, thinspo:










ONLY SKINNY GIRLS CAN WEAR SHORTS


I think this is one of my favorites... just imagine how disgusting this would look on a fat girl. 


<3

First post.  I have another live journal, but because a lot of the friends I have on there I actually know in person and don't want knowing so much about my eating problems, I decided to make a separate journal for all my fatass woes.  So voila, here it is.

HW-  150
LW-   132
CW - 142
GW-  120